Throughout my life, I can think of several dates when the plans for my day were totally upended. The death of a relative. An unexpected phone call. 9/11. A co-worker tragedy. In most of these examples, when the plan for the day was totally canceled, someone died. Death has a way of intruding into our life, changing plans, and unexpectedly causing shock and grief.

In ancient Israel—as is true for many Jewish people today—the first thing the faithful do is recite the Shema, the confession found in the Torah: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart…” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5, ESV). The one exception that put all prayers on hold is when your parent died. In that case, burying your father or mother takes precedence over everything, out of reverence for the one who raised you.

This helps us understand a passage in the Gospel of Matthew when a man pledges to follow Jesus after he first buries his father. We expect Jesus to say, “Of course, you must first give your father a proper burial. But then come follow Me!” Instead, Jesus gives this jarring response: “Follow Me, and leave the dead to bury the dead.”[1]

For those who have derived their image of Jesus from the culture, this statement is always puzzling. They picture Jesus as a nice guy who walks around with a lamb on His shoulders and a nice smile, hugging everyone He meets simply because He is so full of niceness (trust me, that’s a word).

Now, don’t get me wrong. Jesus was and is the most loving person to ever grace the planet. But quite often Jesus showed tough love—which is the kind of love that says things we don’t think we need to hear, but desperately do. In the words of 1 Corinthians 13:6, it’s a love that “rejoices in the truth.”

Jesus didn’t always say what sounds “nice” and affirming, but He did always tell us what we need to hear. And in this instance, He was teaching about the danger of delayed discipleship. His point was that no matter what else we may think is urgent and essential, nothing can take priority over following Him. In light of the Bible’s strong emphasis on caring for one’s family, Jesus’ statement here is all the more surprising.

Jesus knows that sometimes people will look for excuses for why they can’t follow Him today. Sometimes, people will use family as an excuse.

To such people, Jesus says:

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”[2]

Stop and consider for a moment how insanely self-centered this would sound on the lips of anyone else. Do you still think Jesus was merely a good teacher of moral ideals?

Offensive? Maybe. But necessary for each of us to hear.

At another time, Jesus gave a parable (which is a story meant to illustrate the kingdom of God) about a man who decided to host a great banquet at his house. He sent out invitations to all his close family and friends. “But they all alike began to make excuses.”[3]

Some claimed they were too busy. They had purchased fields or oxen that demanded their care and attention. Another said, “I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.”[4] Each person seemed to have a good and reasonable excuse. It’s not as though they were all at home playing video games or binge watching Netflix. But they were excuses nonetheless.

Jesus said the master of the house became angry when people rejected his generous offer. After all, he was providing a sumptuous feast, free of charge. Because those who were supposedly closest to him rejected his offer, the master sent his servant to go and “bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.”[5] After all, those who had less in life would recognize the generosity of this invitation.

After his dining hall is filled with everyone from “the highways and hedges” far and wide, the great banquet can finally begin. Then, somewhat disdainfully, the master of the house says of those who turned down his invitation, “I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.”[6]

The message is pretty clear. Those who put off Jesus and His invitation into life in the kingdom of God are missing out on the joy He is offering.

To say it again: Nothing is more urgent or important in your life right now than discipleship to Jesus.

We might imagine that while we can’t follow Jesus today, we will certainly square things up with Him later. We might even think it’s better to live for ourselves today so that we will better appreciate grace later. But here’s where people need to take care. Sin has a way of hardening the heart that puts Jesus off. How do you know you aren’t hardening your heart against Jesus today? If you don’t have time for Jesus today, what makes you think you will suddenly have time later in life?

The spiritual sage J. C. Ryle offered this warning:

“Habits of good or evil are daily strengthening in your heart. Every day you are either getting nearer to God, or further off. Every year that you continue unrepentant, the wall of division between you and heaven becomes higher and thicker, and the gulf to be crossed deeper and broader. Oh, dread the hardening effect of constant lingering sin! Now is the accepted time. See that your decision not be put off until the winter of your days.”[7]

In reality, no matter what excuse we might come up with for why we are delaying discipleship to Jesus, that very excuse might be the roadblock that keeps us from ever coming to the party. Beware of excuses in your own heart. Take warning from Jesus’ parable. What a tragedy it would be to miss out on the very thing that gives our lives meaning not only for this life, but for all eternity.

In the words of Jesus, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?”[8]

If you have any questions about any of this, I would love to hear from you!

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[1] Matthew 8:22, ESV

[2] Matthew 10:37, ESV

[3] Luke 14:18, ESV

[4] V. 20

[5] V. 21

[6] V. 24

[7] J. C. Ryle, Thoughts for Young Men, 16.

[8] Matthew 16:26, ESV