In 1865, a bishop named J. C. Ryle wrote a book called Thoughts for Young Men. Don’t let the humble title fool you. Despite being a very short book, it was packed with powerful exhortations for young men of his day. But because Ryle used timeless, Christ-centered principles, that little book is still very relevant today. I’ve taken several young men through it who found it both bracing and helpful. 

He started by saying, “Seek to become acquainted with our Lord Jesus Christ… Till you know this, my warnings and advice will be useless, and your endeavors, whatever that may be, will be in vain.”

In a similar tone, I want to offer five exhortations to young men today, as a brother in Christ. Today, the challenges many men face are very different in one sense. We live in a much more tech-saturated atmosphere, and the temptations and distractions often look very different. But our calling as men remains the same: we must turn from self to Jesus Christ so that we can serve, lead, and bless others by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Turn from Self to Jesus Christ

In 1 Corinthians 16, the Apostle Paul counsels: 

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14, ESV)

For a young man to stand firm in the faith, he must first bow the knee to Jesus Christ. As Ryle pointed out, unless you are first born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, you cannot live out your God-given calling. So, break with sin, deny yourself, and surrender to the Lord who purchased your soul with His lifeblood on the Cross. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Some young men assume that being a Christian is following religious rules, respecting God and the Bible, or attending church services on Christmas and Easter. But the reality is that a profound change must take place in your soul. You must be made new.

You have to turn from the sins you’ve been indulging in and surrender your whole self to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. You must know that His death is enough and that you are accepted, justified, and cleansed in the sight of God through faith in Christ alone. Only then, will your conscience be cleansed and your heart made new.

Fear God over man

In our social media age, many young men desire approval online. They crave attention and admiration, but they should be craving fellowship with the God who made them. The Bible insists that the years of your youth are precious and few, and you’ll never get them back.

“Remember your Creator in the days of your youth” (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Youth is fleeting, hell is real, and there is no refund for wasted years. Rather than following the cultural compromises of our age, make it your ambition to know Jesus Christ every day more than the day before. 

Put Christ at the center of everything you do in life. Seek His honor and glory, not your own. Live for an audience of One. Live on mission as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Have a vision for your life that is bigger than yourself.

This doesn’t mean you should be a lone ranger. Find other men for community and accountability. You need to be in a band of brothers who are pulling in the same direction and want to see you succeed in faithfulness to Christ. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). A fire grows cold until you add more pieces of firewood. And those who isolate themselves are rarely on fire for Christ.

Receive your identity from Christ, not the world

Many reach for the phone in their pockets to answer their question: “Who am I really?” Reject the devil’s lie that you need to “find yourself” before you can really be the man God calls you to be. If you belong to Jesus, then you can already hear God’s blessing over your life: “You are my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” 

You don’t need to create your own persona. Your identity is secure in Christ, and His image is being renewed in you (Ephesians 4:24; Colossians 3:10). If you base your identity on what the world says men should be, the goal posts will be constantly shifting. You’ll never know if you’ve done enough.

God doesn’t call you to merely be an alpha male who gets the girls and the applause. God calls you to embrace the humble mindset of a servant, like Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5). Instead of focusing on finding “the perfect girl” out there, aim to become the kind of sacrificial, servant-hearted man that a godly woman would want to marry. Worldly men think that by boasting and exaggerating their abilities they can impress others, but it actually reveals how fragile their sense of self really is. 

Your identity in Christ is not fragile. On your best days and your worst days, you can say the same thing: “I am loved, known, redeemed, and governed by a King who will not give up on me.” 

“He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.” (Philippians 1:6)

Choose commitment over consumption

Young men, God has a purpose for your life, and it’s not ultimately about you; it’s about His glory and your dependence on Him for everything. If you don’t find satisfaction in making everything about His glory, your hungry soul will turn elsewhere for joy.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22, NIV)

Too many young men spend countless hours playing video games, looking at porn, scrolling social media, and smoking weed. They live as a consumer rather than a contributor. Many young men are floundering, and this is because they avoid making and keeping commitments.

Think about what Jesus did for you on the cross. He finished the work He was given. He did not quit early. My friend Rob recently used the phrase, “It’s about the last five percent.” In other words, a job done well is a job done completely. If you will be a man who keeps his word, finishes the degree, shows up on time, completes the project, and is dependable both on the job and at home, you will be ahead of most men today.

Many young men have this contagious fear of commitment, especially fear of committed relationships. I say “contagious” because oftentimes they hang with other men who also fear commitment. They affirm each other by saying, “You’re just keeping your options open.” But that’s not how God’s men live. They stand firm. They make promises and resolve to keep them. They commit to others. They serve the needs of others before themselves. That’s how Jesus lived. 

He knew His mission in life: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). He could say from the Cross: “It is finished” (John 19:30). He didn’t quit before that last five percent. Because He finished His job, He had the authority to command those who follow Him to do their job (Matthew 28:18-20).

Submit to Scripture, not your feelings, as your highest authority

Feelings are real. We don’t want to downplay suffering or trauma. But young men need to know that feelings were never meant to be your authority. They alone do not tell you the truth about who you are.

Because we live in such a therapeutic culture, many young men feel that if something is uncomfortable, painful, or requires a lot from them, then it must not be for them. But the Bible says that God uses suffering to mold us and grow us into the men He wants us to become. Sometimes, as a man, your calling is to step into the discomfort and accept the suffering of life, not because pain is good in itself, but because it is building you into a Christ-shaped servant of God.

Consider the Apostle Paul’s example. That man suffered at a level you and I probably never will. Just read his journal of pain in 2 Corinthians 11:23-29. After reading it, I guarantee your life will seem pretty cushy by comparison. Jesus Himself said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NLT). He said, “I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you” (John 15:19, NIV).

Some young men have said things like, “I just don’t have peace about this decision yet.” Let me just give a friendly reminder that Jesus was sweating drops of blood the night before doing His work on the Cross. We shouldn’t assume our emotions can show us what we’re to be about. When Paul was heading to Jerusalem, he was warned by numerous people to turn back because suffering awaited him. Even the Holy Spirit told him suffering was coming! Here’s how he responded:

“I don’t know what awaits me, except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” (Acts 20:22-24, NLT)

All Paul knew was that God had called him to preach the gospel of a crucified and risen Savior no matter what. So, he assumed he’d have a cross to carry, too.

Instead of searching your feelings for the right answers, submit your mind to Scripture.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, ESV)

Don’t neglect time with the Lord in His Word. You need it more than you need that protein drink or those supplements. You need it every day like a compass when you’re trekking through the woods. It’s that vital.

Take heart, man of God, He has not left you alone. Your Father is with you and for you in Christ. And He will be your Shepherd if you will stay among His faithful sheep.

If you have thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear from you!