“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12, ESV)

For many people, the only prayer they practice is a kind of formal, perfunctory prayer that is done at family gatherings. Such people struggle with prayer because they’ve never viewed prayer as an intimate conversation with God. Jesus warned us not to be like religious hypocrites who use prayer as a chance to win the admiration of others (Matthew 6:5). At its heart, prayer is about experiencing relational nearness to our Lord and Shepherd.

Prayer Is Essential

The number one reason so many Christians lack spiritual vitality in their life is because of neglect of private prayer. “On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased” (Psalm 138:3).

It’s fascinating to study the accounts of great men and women throughout history and how consistently each one of them was a person of fervent and consistent prayer.

George Muller, who helped care for more than 10,000 orphans in England and provided education for more than 120,000 children had a daily habit of beginning each day with several hours of prayer. Charles Simeon rose at 4 am every day, so he could spend the first four hours in prayer. Susannah Wesley, the busy mother of 19 children, would sit in a rocking chair with an apron over her head praying passionately for her children. And her prayers were no doubt effective, because two of her sons Charles and John went on to make a tremendous difference for Christ.

Now, on the one hand, it’s inspiring to hear such stories. But if we’re honest, we can also feel a little guilty that we devote so little time to prayer. Such stories might inspire us while simultaneously making us feel like spiritual failures.

But what if we began small? What if we committed to set aside only ten minutes per day to nothing but sitting in the presence of God, opening up our hearts, communing with our Lord, and interceding on behalf of others?

Zondervan conducted a survey of 678 respondents about prayer, and only 23 felt satisfied with the time they were spending in prayer. In his book, Prayer, Philip Yancey recounts some of the struggles he has had with praying to an invisible God. He writes, “In theory prayer is the essential human act, a priceless point of contact with the God of the universe. In practice prayer is often confusing and fraught with frustration.”

We pray because prayer speaks to a universal human need. We are dependent creatures. We were not made for life without God. As Thomas Merton put it, “Prayer is an expression of who we are… We are a living incompleteness. We are a gap, an emptiness that calls for fulfillment.”

If you don’t know how to pray, our Lord Jesus tells us to begin with acknowledging who God is and what He calls us to be (Matthew 6:9-13). In fact, while many view prayer primarily as a way to get things from God, prayer should be first and foremost about intimacy with God.

Why Does God Sometimes Seem Distant?

And for us to have an intimate relationship with God, we need to acknowledge the ways we have turned away from God and repent. Through the prophet Isaiah, God even tells the nation of Israel that because of their national sins, God has turned away from hearing their prayers.

“When you spread out your hands in prayer,
    I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
    I am not listening.
Your hands are full of blood!
Wash and make yourselves clean.
    Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
    stop doing wrong.
Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.” (Isaiah 1:15-17, NIV)

The way back to God begins with owning our sin and repenting. That’s a sobering warning. God does not tolerate sin in the midst of His people. He says, “You’re lifting up hands in prayer, but those hands are covered in the blood of the innocent. You’re crying out for Me to listen to you, but you haven’t listened to those most hurting around you.”

This is a warning for all of us. Are we treating others fairly? Are we staying faithful to our marriage vows? Are we treating those who look and think differently from us the same way we treat those who look and think like us? Are we sharing food with the hungry? Are we showing compassion for both the preborn baby in the womb, and also for the unwed mother who feels abandoned and alone? Are we acknowledging the sin in our past, repenting toward God, and seeking the forgiveness that is offered through the finished work of Jesus alone?

Sin is not the only reason God can seem absent in prayer. Even spiritual giants such as King David, Asaph, Ethan the Ezrahite, and the prophet Habakkuk lamented times when God seemed distant (Psalm 13:1; 80:4; 89:46; Habakkuk 1:2). Scripture would urge us to not give up in prayer even when God feels far away. It’s often during the “dark night of the soul,” as John of the Cross put it, that God is doing His deepest work in our souls.

But whatever you do, don’t give up! The Holy Spirit will help us to pray even when we have no idea what to say in prayer (Romans 8:26).

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12, ESV)

Praying to a Loving Father

If God were a cold and aloof deity, we could hardly bear the thought of praying to Him, considering how we have all failed Him. But here’s why Jesus taught us to begin by addressing God as “Our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9). Think of how a good father will do anything to protect and provide for his children. Consider how quickly a good father is willing to lift his little child in his arms and hold them close to his chest, even after that child has rebelled countless times.

“As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:13, ESV)

This is why Jesus said God is “our Father.” He loves His children beyond words. In one sense our unrepentant sin is indeed the obstacle to intimacy with God. On the other hand, the primary hindrance to prayer is a failure to see God as a Father who loves us with an unshakable and undying love and is eager to forgive His repentant children. Not only that, but God even delights in you!

If we begin here, knowing that our God is a loving and compassionate Father who willingly takes back the prodigal son or daughter and showers him or her with kisses, we will be willing to repent and ask for forgiveness for the wrongs we have done. In prayer, we approach the Father through the Son, who fully paid for all our sin on the cross. That is why the Book of Hebrews says we can boldly approach the throne of grace, knowing that He is a Father who loves us dearly (Hebrews 4:16).

Have thoughts on this post? I’d love to hear from you!