By Jason Smith

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)

Right now our world is fraught with emotion, anger, and distress. It feels very surreal sometimes to see the violence and tragedy aired on the news or the rage and resentment that is posted on social media. It saddens me to see all the unrestrained fury, bitter sarcasm, and personal denunciations.

So, let’s ask the question together: What can we do to move forward, to see this world become a better place? I don’t ask that question in the Pollyanna sense. I know that a perfect world is one we all hope for. It’s not just Miss America that dreams of world peace. We all want this and would like to know what would contribute to that end, even if imperfectly.

One of the troubles of the American culture right now is our glaring failure to listen. I’ve never seen our nation so polarized, so entrenched in an “us vs. them” mindset. It seems that everywhere I turn I see political, social, racial, and gender divides.

I remember in grade school, I had a relatively minor feud with another boy in my class. Looking back, it was mostly just a petty and childish disagreement. At the time, however, I was so visibly upset about the whole thing that my teacher noticed. She wisely asked me only one question, “Well, have you tried listening to him?”

My initial thought was: Have I tried listening?! That’s what got me so upset! I’ve heard what he has to say. But, of course, what she meant was, “Have you tried listening to understand him?” It’s safe to say that was something I definitely hadn’t done.

Have you ever noticed how when you are in an argument with someone, it’s very hard to actually stop and hear everything they have to say? More often, we’re better at only half-listening while re-loading our verbal shotgun with new arguments that pack a bigger punch. When words are many, tempers flare and emotions run high. It’s not easy to stop ourselves in our tracks, reign in our tongue, and truly listen with the goal of understanding the person we disagree with.

I’m not advocating some kind of moratorium on all debate, of course. Healthy dialogue between people who disagree is a very good thing, and, in fact, necessary for a free and thriving society. I’m merely wondering how much you and I really try to empathize with those of a vastly different perspective.

In Scripture, James writes, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20).

Whether or not you consider yourself a follower of Jesus, this should register as sound wisdom to you. James is calling us to do the opposite of what we tend to do when our blood pressure is rising and our view is clashing with another’s. Jump quickly at the opportunity – not to respond – but to listen. And hold back, be patient, and bide your time in your response.

When you thoughtfully listen to someone else, you are building a bridge to them. You’re crossing over into their world and inviting them to cross over into yours – not so you’ll come out looking the exact same, but so that understanding is better achieved. This is what Italian artist Lorenzo Quinn tried to capture in his incredible sculpture Building Bridges in Venice, depicting six pairs of hands reaching out to one another over the canal (pictured above).

In her book, I’m Still Here, Austin Channing Brown describes how difficult it was to grow up as a black girl in a world where everyone wanted her to conform to their expectations. In her own words, “I was too white for black people, and too black for white people. I had a boy’s name and bad acne. It was terrible.”[1] People from all walks of life tended to disparage her rather than seek to understand her. Perhaps you can relate.

Listening truly is a skill that takes time to master. When we listen with an eagerness to understand the person who holds a different perspective, we are loving them. We’re showing we want to step into their shoes and see things through their eyes, even for just a moment. All too often, we make assumptions about others and lay our personal expectations on them without ever asking about where they are coming from. We don’t open ourselves to differing perspectives, because we see them as a threat to the truth we hold dear. But if we really care about truth, we shouldn’t be afraid to uncover other perspectives that may just help us on our journey to the truth. In listening well, we won’t be devaluing truth. “For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth” (2 Corinthians 13:8).

Here’s a good test we could all take to see how we’re doing on this whole being “quick to listen” thing: the next time you engage in a discussion with someone you firmly disagree with, go into it with the expectation and hope that you will learn something from them. You never know how a different perspective might change the way you approach the issue in the future. You may even be a little humbled. Sure, you probably won’t be fully persuaded by the differing view, but you might identify a blind spot you never knew you had.

What James is proposing is not rocket science. It is incredibly simple, really… and yet the skill of listening thoughtfully to those of a different persuasion is so rarely practiced in our world today.

I mentioned at the beginning of this article that we all desire world peace on some level, but the question is: How can we get there? I personally believe genuine and lasting peace can only be fully consummated when the Lord Jesus Christ comes to make all things new. However, I can tell you this. If, in the meantime, you do practice listening to understand, you will be making great progress in loving that person and establishing the peace that God desires in our relationships, our communities, and our world.

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[1] Austin Channing Brown, I’m Still Here (New York: Penguin Random House, 2018), 32.