Tag: decisions

How Can I Know God’s Will for My Life?

On By Jason SmithIn Devotional, Theology for Life2 Comments

By Jason Smith

If you’re a Christian, it is in you to want to do what pleases God. You don’t want to oppose His will. You’ve had enough of that in your life, and you know how badly that can go. But sometimes you come across situations in life where you’re unsure what God would have you do. And these are just a small sampling of the thousands of decisions we make every day – what to wear, what to say, how to spend time, and what to do first. Life is full of decisions!

Many decisions in life are very much in the moment and either don’t require or don’t allow for a lot of careful thinking beforehand. Other times, you have more time to make a decision, and usually these are the decisions that weigh on you the most when you’re considering what is God’s will. Where should I look for work? Should I marry this person? When should I retire? I want to consider some of the basic principles for knowing God’s will for your life. Then I want to conclude with how this works out in practice, considering the example of how to know who to marry or even whether one should marry at all.

Begin with Biblical Principles

God’s will is that His children would be sanctified – or set apart – in the truth of His Word (John 17:17). As we regularly immerse ourselves in the Word and apply its truths to our lives, it will begin to shape our critical thinking and become the foundational worldview out of which we make all our decisions. In other words, as you submit your mind to God’s Word, God will work in your heart and mind so that you better understand His will.[1] While many assume that Scripture doesn’t speak directly to their situation, I have found that Scripture provides the counsel we need to follow God’s leading. Even though the Bible doesn’t spell out the answer to every specific question, it equips us with the truth and wisdom necessary to make that decision.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, ESV)[2]

The Bible teaches that we are first and foremost to focus on Christ and aspire to become more like Him in all we think, say, and do. Jesus is not only our Savior; He is our example (1 Peter 2:21). As you do this, both the momentary decisions and the prolonged decisions will be shaped by the character of Christ, as revealed in God’s Word.

Ask God for Wisdom

Seeking God’s guidance through prayer and communion with God is essential. Jesus spent the whole night in prayer before choosing His twelve disciples (Luke 6:12). It’s clear that He sought out communion with God before making this all-important decision. Likewise, we are to lay out every decision before the Lord, pleading for the wisdom that only He can give.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:5-6, ESV)

One caution here. We shouldn’t try and demand that God give us a miraculous sign so that we know what to do. I remember wondering about this in the past. For example, if God wants me to try out for the basketball team, can I just ask Him to prove that by having the Portland Trailblazers win their next game?

Should I Put Out a Fleece?

In the book of Judges, we read about a man named Gideon who is told by God that he will have victory over the Midianites, a neighboring tribe (Judges 6:14-16). And so, as a test, Gideon puts out a fleece, asking God to prove this is His will by having the fleece filled with dew while having the surrounding dirt be completely dry in the morning. Sure enough, in the morning, only the fleece is soaked. But that’s not enough for Gideon. He asks God to do the very opposite the next morning – dry fleece and wet dirt (Judges 6:36-40). Once again, God is willing to comply with Gideon’s request. So you could say that Gideon asked God to prove something He had already revealed by giving Him a miraculous sign.

Many people have tried to use this as an example to follow, saying things like, “God wants us to put out a fleece” – i.e., ask God for a miraculous sign so that we’ll know His will. But Gideon’s story is not given as an example to follow. By Gideon’s own admission, God had already told him He would give Israel victory (v. 36). God chooses to comply with Gideon’s request, but not because Gideon is right to ask for this sign. Instead, this demonstrates God’s patience with a weak-willed man who was filled with doubts and lived in a difficult time.

So, before you lay a sponge on your back patio tonight, consider that Jesus said “a wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign” (Matthew 12:39). Also consider that Gideon did not have a Bible. And there’s really no example of someone “putting out a fleece” in the New Testament after the Holy Spirit comes at Pentecost.

The one time you could argue there’s an example of seeking God’s will through some kind of external sign is when, in choosing Judas’s replacement among the Apostles, the disciples cast lots, much like what was done for determining priestly duties in the Old Testament era (Acts 1:26). But I think we have to conclude that this was a very unique situation. The Apostles were the specially commissioned men who represented Christ’s authority in a unique way after Christ’s ascension. Their teaching was authoritative because they had spent considerable time with Christ on earth and witnessed His resurrection. So, it makes sense that they wanted to have a very public event like casting lots for determining the twelfth Apostle, who would be Matthias. No one could dispute Matthias’s authority, because this was done by the Apostles and in front of the church.

Invite the Leading of the Holy Spirit and the Counsel of Loved Ones

All true believers in Jesus Christ are indwelled by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God, and He directly leads us according to Scripture. “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God” (Romans 8:14). The Holy Spirit gives us God-honoring desires, grants us various gifts with which to build up the church, produces spiritual fruit in our lives, and prompts us to obey the Lord. It is incredible to think that God is with us wherever we go in life!

At the same time, there’s an important caution that I should make here. The Holy Spirit will never lead someone to disobey the revealed Word of the Bible. Therefore, you should first seek to understand the moral principles of God’s Word, and not simply “pray about” a moral question, hoping the Holy Spirit will give you a new moral insight on an issue that Scripture already addresses. While the Holy Spirit empowers us to obey and freshly applies biblical truths to our hearts, He will never contradict the Bible He gave us.[3]

I have come across people who have tried to justify a behavior that clearly violates Scripture, stating something along the lines of “The Holy Spirit okayed this one for me.” That is a dangerous position to be in, my friend. While subjective impressions can certainly be helpful in making a decision, they must be tested by the objective Word of God, our primary source for moral truth.[4]

Seeking the counsel of others is always wise, especially those who share the same biblical worldview and faith commitments that you do. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Even if you can’t meet with someone personally about a decision, you can read books on the subject. One especially useful place to look for guidance on ethical decisions is in the various Christian teachers of church history. It’s amazing how so many issues we face today are described and considered by great minds from the past. Once again, counsel from others should always be tested against the authoritative Word of God.

Consider the Consequences

A good question to consider when weighing competing decisions is the potential consequences of a given action: What will result if I do this and not that? Paul encouraged the Corinthians to think through what will build their brothers and sisters up as they conduct the worship service:

“What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.” (1 Cor. 14:26, ESV)

Elsewhere, Paul talks about the potential consequences of eating foods that were considered “unclean” in the Old Testament, like pork, in front of a “weaker brother” (Romans 14:13-16). We should consider the long-term consequences of our decisions. The vast majority of bad decisions come from a failure to consider the long-term cost, because our focus is only on the short-term benefit.

An Example of Seeking God’s Will in Action: Who Should I Marry?

So, for instance, if a believer in Christ is wanting to know who they should marry or whether they should even be pursuing marriage, there are some clear Scriptural guidelines to follow:

  1. The person you plan to marry must be a believer. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says that a single person is “free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” And 2 Corinthians 6 warns against being “unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). So, the point to be made here is that missionary dating is always a bad idea. Many Christians enter into romantic relationships with non-Christians, trying to convince themselves that they will convert that person before the wedding date arrives. Allow me to be somewhat blunt here. That’s a colossal mistake. God doesn’t want you to even start down the road toward marriage – which is what dating is – if you would be unequally yoked. It’s like trying to unite two people with radically different centers of gravity.[5] This isn’t a matter of “praying about it” to see if it is God’s will. God has already spoken to this issue. Christians must only pursue marriage with other Christians.
  2. You should consider the Scriptural commands related to the marriage relationship, like in 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5, and decide if you are willing to submit to what Scripture commands for what your role in that relationship must look like. God calls wives to “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) and husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). If these God-ordained marital roles seem too burdensome to accept, then perhaps you’re not as ready to marry as you may have thought.
  3. If you desire marriage, that’s a very good thing. The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22). Marriage is part of God’s original created design for human flourishing and reproduction. But there’s also a word spoken for those who are called to singleness, particularly in 1 Corinthians 7. The Apostle Paul, a single man, explains that the single life has its benefits. It frees you up to serve the Lord without having to also consider the needs of your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
  4. How do you know if you are called to singleness? Well, however long you may be called to the single life, the main point is that you will be able to serve the Lord in a special way if you are single. But if you have a strong desire for marriage, there’s no reason to assume you are called to singleness. After commending the single life as a worthy pursuit, Paul bluntly says “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). In other words, if you are struggling with sexual temptation and long to be married, then by all means, seek out a spouse. Some might argue that this doesn’t seem like a very romantic reason to marry someone, but Paul is simply being realistic about the power of sexual temptation and our need to live pure lives – whether we are single or married. It’s not that Paul doesn’t see other good reasons to pursue marriage, such as a strong attraction to another single person, a desire to have lifelong companionship with two souls knit together as one, and a hope of raising a family together.
  5. Invite the Holy Spirit’s leading and the input of others. The more you intentionally yield this decision to the Lord, the more you will be at peace with whatever direction God leads. Ask parents, family members, close friends, pastors, and confidantes to give their thoughts on the prospective marriage. If you’re afraid to ask someone, it might be that you already sense it is a bad idea.
  6. Who can you see yourself growing old with? Since marriage is a lifelong commitment, it’s worth considering this question carefully. It’s not merely a matter of finding someone who checks all the boxes, such as who will be the best financial provider or who seems to have the most friends. The big issue is: Who do you want to enter into covenant with? Again, the single person is “free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). That means that you should marry the one you wish to spend the rest of your days with.

Check Your Motives

Lastly, Scripture encourages us to consider our motives when we weigh various decisions. As Paul says, “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:3, ESV). This somewhat shocking statement should prompt us to consider the intentions of our heart. While we don’t want to fall prey to “analysis paralysis,” it’s also worth examining motives before plunging headlong into a weighty decision. Ask yourself questions like:

  • Is this an action done for the glory of God?
  • Is this an action done in love?
  • Will this build others up or tear them down?
  • Is this in line with what Scripture says?

Have thoughts on this post? Feel free to comment below!

[1] See Romans 12:2 and Philippians 2:13.

[2] See Philippians 2:13; Ephesians 5:10; Hebrews 13:20-21; 1 John 3:21-22.

[3] See 2 Peter 1:21 to see the Holy Spirit’s role in giving Scripture.

[4] See Ephesians 5:30; 1 Thessalonians 5:20-21; 1 John 4:1.

[5] For believers who are already married to an unbeliever, the Bible calls them to stay committed to the marriage vows, but because this will inevitably create friction in the relationship, it is not given as the ideal.