“What about homosexuality? What is your church’s stance on it? Is it a sin or not?”

This is the question that Becket Cook, a Hollywood set designer, asked a young man studying his Bible at a coffee shop in Los Angeles. It wasn’t the first question he asked, but the young man’s friendly and thoughtful demeanor when Becket first approached him opened the door for the bigger question brewing below the surface.[1]

How would you respond to Becket’s question? Do you have an answer ready if someone asked this simple yet pointed question? In one sense, this might be the question of our generation: Is homosexuality a sin? Wherever you come down on this issue, I would urge you to think through what the Bible and your church believe about this. When asked directly if homosexuality is a sin, I have heard numerous Christian celebrities and pastors hedge and stumble through an answer. They don’t seem to realize that because of their influence, their non-answer only adds fuel to the fires of confusion. If you haven’t carefully prepared for when this question comes—and be assured it will—it could prove incredibly detrimental in your own life and the lives of those with whom you interact. Out of love for family and friends, we cannot afford to get this one wrong.

Embracing the Truth No Matter What

If homosexuality is a good and God-honoring practice, then we ought to be joining in all the pride parades, waving pride flags, and celebrating it along with the crowds. However, if the truth is that, despite increasing cultural approval, God’s Word reproves homosexuality as a distortion of God’s good design, we should humbly accept this. Whatever is true, we should embrace out of love for God and others.

Thankfully, the young man in the coffee shop was ready. Becket writes, “His answer didn’t shock me. He didn’t beat around the bush, and very matter-of-factly stated that both he and his church agreed homosexuality is indeed a sin.”[2] What a refreshingly clear response! No complex answer filled with a thousand qualifications. After calmly explaining the Bible’s teaching on the matter, he proceeded to invite Becket, who was openly homosexual, to his church.

Initially, Becket hated the thought of going to a church where homosexuality was condemned. And yet, something was pushing him to go anyway. Maybe it was the way this young man gently but firmly held to his convictions. Maybe the Lord was drawing Becket despite his atheism.

A Change of Affection

Somewhat reluctantly, Becket went to the church service and heard the pastor proclaim the gospel of God’s infinite love for broken sinners for the first time. He learned that God had come in human flesh and was known as Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus went to the cross as a sacrifice for our sins and rose from the dead in triumphant glory. This gospel touched Becket at the deepest level. After going forward for prayer, something happened in Becket’s heart.

“All of a sudden, a giant wave of God’s presence came crashing over me… I was utterly overwhelmed, and I started bawling uncontrollably.”[3]

Becket surrendered his life to Jesus Christ. According to the Bible, when this happens, we are born again and become a child of God (John 1:12-13). We are made new inside.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)

At conversion, God sovereignly gives us a new heart with new affections and desires, and He puts His Spirit within us, claiming us as His own.

“And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26, ESV)

Along with a new and intense desire to honor God, Becket immediately came to understand God had a new direction for his life—one that included leaving his gay lifestyle in the dust.

“I had finally come to the realization that homosexual behavior was a distortion of God’s perfect design for human sexuality and flourishing… Surprisingly, I was perfectly fine with this realization. The complete reversal of my opinions and pursuits in this area worked like this: I had just met the King of the universe!… How could I hold on to anything that didn’t bring me closer to Him?”[4]

Only the living God could transform the way Becket looked at homosexuality and everything else. Today, as Becket says in his book A Change of Affection, he lives life free of guilt, free of what others think of him, and free of the fear of death. As he put it, he has met the King of the universe! What could possibly compare?

As Christians, we need to remember that every last one of us is sexually broken apart from Christ. Without His grace and wisdom, our desires are disordered and not in line with His perfect design. We all are desperate for His transforming work!

Embracing Christ and Forsaking Sin

In spite of powerful testimonies such as Becket’s, many in our world want to deny that this kind of change can happen in someone’s life. We have an enemy who is bent on deceiving people about the transforming power of Christ. He wants us to imagine that if one is “born this way,” they have no choice but to live according to their homosexual desires. But true life is found in saying no to anything that would conflict with God’s best.

While giving people designations according to sexual orientation, such as “gay” or “straight,” might be a modern concept, the Bible is concerned with the sexual practice itself. And the simple fact is that homosexual behavior is always viewed negatively in Scripture.

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality; nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, ESV)

But praise God that’s not the end of the matter! After this clear warning on what marks the lives of those outside the kingdom, we are given this word of hope:

“And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (v. 11, emphasis added)

God cares about what we do with our bodies, and our bodies can only flourish according to His good design. To live contrary to His design, is to flout the authority of the Designer Himself.

Just like we cannot pour Gatorade into our vehicle’s fuel tank and not expect engine problems, we cannot ignore God’s stated design for human sexuality and not expect negative consequences.

Consider again how you would respond when asked what you believe about homosexuality. In that moment, will you be more concerned with the approval of others or the God who made us all? Just imagine if that young man in the coffee shop had told Becket he and his church had no problem with people living whatever way they wanted. What if the pastor had avoided preaching the gospel? How we speak about homosexuality really does matter, and God will hold us accountable. God used these men to draw Becket into the kingdom. He no longer identifies as a “gay man,” but as a child of God.

So let’s commit to speaking the truth of God’s Word with clear resolve, but also with a gentle and invitational love that says, “There’s room at the table for all who embrace Christ and forsake sin. I hope you’ll join us.”

Have thoughts on this post? Feel free to comment below!

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[1] Becket Cook, A Change of Affection (Nashville: Nelson Books, 2019), 8.

[2] Ibid, 6.

[3] Ibid, 19.

[4] Ibid, 23.