By Jason Smith

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Last week, on April 27^th, my grandmother, Bettie Bramer, went to Heaven. She will be dearly missed.

Without question, Grandma loved me, as she did all her children and grandchildren. And we loved her. She was a strong, faithful, and wise woman. She loved Jesus with all her heart, and she wanted others to know and love Him.

And she loved her husband, Grandpa Jim, so very much. I loved to watch them care for one another, share memories together, and tease each other incessantly, in the way that only a long-married couple can. My grandparents were friends in middle school, sweet hearts in high school, and later wed in 1953. They were happily married for 66 years.

Whenever I saw Grandma, she always took such an interest in me, asking me what was new in my life and how I felt about it. She had a very sharp mind, too, and a quick wit! I remember countless times that she got laughing so hard, along with the rest of us, over a remark someone made. Grandma was also very warm and welcoming from the first time she met my wife, Whitney. And I’m so thankful she got to meet all three of our boys.

And, my goodness, she was the queen of her kitchen! Her vegetable soup always hit the spot. And her rolls – oh, her soft and buttery rolls! – well, they were legendary.

My earliest memory of Grandma is actually pretty funny. My parents were out, and she and Grandpa were watching us kids. I remember her clearly telling me that I needed to lay down for a nap, but I just couldn’t handle the thought of missing out on all the family fun. Mind you, I was probably three or four. Like a prison escapee, I carefully crawled down the hallway, passing the room I thought she was in. Then, to my horror, I realized she was actually in the kitchen – and had spotted me! What was I to do? There was only one option left: I took off running. I swung open the front door and sprinted past a crowd of onlookers – consisting of my siblings and their neighborhood friends – then bolted toward the backyard, hoping beyond hope to find safe haven there. The gate is open! I could see the grass. I was nearly there. I could smell freedom!

But then it happened. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and whisk me off the front lawn. I was fast… but Grandma was faster. My master plan of skipping nap time was utterly foiled.

It’s funny how an early memory like that can shape a young child’s perspective. For a time, I thought of Grandma Bettie as strict and unyielding. But only a couple summers later, that perspective changed. She and Grandpa joined our family for a trip to Disneyland, and I saw how kind, fun, and generous Grandma really was. Over the years, I had the privilege of getting to know Grandma better and better, and I came to see that she was more than just a kind woman who gave me Christmas presents and made delicious food.

Grandma Bettie was a woman who cared deeply about her family, her church, and her community. But most of all, I could see how clearly she loved Grandpa.

One of the challenges right now for my family – and my Grandpa Jim, especially – is not being able to have a memorial service right away, due to COVID-19.

Whenever we lose someone in our lives, there’s always going to be a mix of emotions. It’s common for grieving family and friends to feel everything from sorrow to regret to guilt to peace. Psychologists even talk about the various stages of grieving. I’m convinced it’s not the same for everyone. But ultimately we all need some sense of closure or acceptance of the “new normal,” even while we never forget the incredible impact our loved ones had.

I thank God for my Grandma Bettie. While I miss her very much, I’m grateful for the incredible legacy both she and Grandpa have left for the rest of the family. And it lifts my heart to imagine how glorious life is now like in the presence of Jesus, her Savior. Though her body is lifeless, I promise you, Bettie Bramer has never been more alive.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26).