Have you heard of Moto-X freestyle motocross? It’s the sport where guys jump motorcycles over buildings and hang from the handlebars with their feet as they somersault their bikes 50 feet in the air. It’s incredible to watch some of the videos of these daredevils. Brian Deegan is the most decorated champion of Freestyle Motocross in X-Games history. But the most important thing about Deegan is that he is a follower of Christ.

In 1997, Deegan formed the Metal Mulisha, a freestyle Motocross team, which over the next 8 years became known for their wild success in jumping competitions, and also for their violent and rebellious spirits. Their focus seemed to be on motorcycles, alcohol, drugs, sex, and fighting. Then three things happened that forever changed Deegan’s life.

First, his girlfriend became pregnant and wanted to keep the baby. Second was a botched high-speed midair backflip in the 2006 X-Games that nearly killed Deegan and led to months of physical rehab. And third, Deegan finally agreed to go to church with his girlfriend. To his surprise, he didn’t hate it. In fact, before long, he came to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. After this, he married his girlfriend and began to make some major changes in his life, like quitting drinking and drugs.

Beyond this, he even started a Bible study with the Metal Mulisha bikers. Before long, many in this rough and wild group were coming to faith in Christ. One of his buddies put it like this: “[Deegan] kept telling us how much the Bible changed his life… I felt like I had to listen.”[1]

The cool thing is that out of all this, Deegan has come to see the need to be the man that God has called him to be. In his words, “I had kids and I have to be a role model to represent to my kids… I had to grow up, had to be a man, had to be a father, and so I did it, dude.”

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a powerful thing, the very “power of God for salvation” according to the Bible (Romans 1:16). It can transform a foul-mouthed, alcohol-abusing drug user into a man who wants to be all that God has created him to be.

That brings up an important question for today. What is it that God calls men to be?

God’s Blueprint for Masculinity

I have a real passion for men’s ministry and encouraging men in their walk with Christ. My prayer is that the men of my generation would step up to be the men God has created them to be. I firmly believe that much of the chaos and corruption we see in our society today in the 21^st century can be traced back to men failing to act like men.

There are many half-baked ideas out there about what true manliness looks like. Some guys think manliness is defined by how many pounds you can bench press or how many guns you own or how many mountains you’ve climbed or how many women you’ve slept with. When we think of manliness, Hollywood faces like John Wayne, Bruce Willis, and Harrison Ford come to mind.

In one John Wayne movie, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, the Duke portrays the rough n’ tough Captain Brittles. One line he repeats is, “Never apologize! It’s a sign of weakness.” Based on images like that, we could think that manliness is about never saying sorry.

But we as men need to come back to our Creator’s intent and design for manhood. Here’s something I know. As a man, you have a craving for significance. God put that desire in you. You know that as a man you have certain responsibilities that no one else can do for you. For many of us, that means being the husband that our wives need us to be.

Men are called to break free of those lousy stereotypes that our culture paints of men as irresponsible dopes who are incapable and incompetent.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27)

What are some things you notice about God’s creation of man here?

Men today need an identity, and that identity comes from God alone. We were made in God’s image, made to relate to Him, to know Him, and to lovingly lead and provide for others. From the very beginning, men have had a purpose: to bear the image of God, relate to God, and to rule over His creation. What so many men miss today is that apart from a relationship with God as Father, we will never know our true purpose.

Working and Keeping

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” (Genesis 2:15)

What do you notice about man here? He has a calling to “work” and “keep”—or “protect” the garden. In other words, we as men are to work hard and cultivate the good. And remember, this is before the woman has even been created yet. So this is a charge specifically for the man. I’m not saying that women can’t garden. That’s not the point. This is about the responsibility God has given to men first and foremost.

Let’s examine those words. When you hear the word “work,” think of a gardener building up trellises, cultivating the soil, and planting seeds. That’s the picture here. The man is called to build up and develop the places God calls him to. That’s why you take so much satisfaction in seeing a project through to completion. That’s how God wired you. He designed men to be planters, builders, and growers. Whether it be at work, in the home, or in our relationships, God calls us as men to take the initiative to build up the places and people in our lives.

For starters, this means that we are not to be lazy. Wherever we are at in life, God calls us to excel. Christian men, of all people, should be the best employees. We shouldn’t be content with partial jobs. We should give our best effort day after day, and we should own it when we’ve messed up.

But this idea of working the garden extends to our relationships. In a marriage, it is the man’s responsibility to cultivate his relationship with his wife. In Ephesians 5, we see that the husband is called “the head of the wife” (Eph. 5:23), which simply means men are called to step up and be humble leaders in the home. The sad truth is that many men have been passive about their role in the home. But men are called to step up, take the hits when they come, and lead their wives and families.

I want to be the best husband to my wife and best dad to my boys I can possibly be. God is honored when we aim high and give our all, especially in these key relationships. Too many men have low expectations for themselves, and this should not be.

Humble Headship

Here’s what being the head of the home does not mean. It does not mean men get to be the ones who sit in the easy chair and bark orders like an insecure dictator. Instead, it looks more like the captain sacrificially leading the charge into battle. God calls husbands to love their wives even “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).  Leading doesn’t mean men have to have all the ideas. It can often sound like this, “Okay, here’s what I had in mind. What do you think?”  Being the head of the home means that you are called to initiate times of prayer, crucial discussions, and encouragement for your family.

If you’re married, this means taking care to spend quality time with your wife, looking for opportunities to pursue her romantically even in your marriage. This doesn’t mean being open to the idea of spending time with your wife; it means making time for your wife! She needs to know that she is a top priority in your life. God calls men to purity and faithfulness.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

Let me say something you already know: women are a mystery. They are a wonderful, confusing mystery to us! Just when you think you have your wife figured out, she will do something totally unexpected. That’s part of the joy of marriage.

We are constantly trying to understand them, and they will continue to baffle us for the rest of our lives. But men, this is a relationship we cannot afford to neglect. We have to work at our marriage. This will involve love and sacrifice on your part. How willing are you to make sacrifices for your wife and family and others you love?

It also involves encouraging her with your words. If you are married, you have more ability to build up your wife than anyone. Your encouragements and compliments carry a lot of weight. I heard a story about a couple sitting at a wedding reception. As the music swelled, a woman’s hopelessly romantic husband put his arm around her, leaned in, and softly said, “You are more beautiful than half the women here.” Yeah, maybe don’t use that line. You might end up on the couch after that one. Use the right words to build up your wife.

We are called to cultivate other relationships, too. Men, in particular, play an essential role as fathers and father figures. I say “father figures” because sometimes children don’t have a biological father in the picture. So, there are times, when other men who love Jesus are called to the role of nurturing and encouraging like a father would for that child. But children need fathers. Studies continue to bear this out—when children grow up deprived of a father, it leaves a massive hole inside. Even if they don’t realize it, they continue to ache for the love that only a father can give.

And remember, we aren’t just called to “work” but to “keep” the gardens of our lives. That means we are called to be the protectors. We are to care for our loved ones and watch out when physical or spiritual danger is near.

Genesis 3 records the story of the fall when the serpent approached Eve. But you know something tragic? What we often miss is that Genesis 3:6 says that after Eve ate the fruit “she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” Did you catch that? Adam was right there “with her” when the tempter came.

Adam was failing in his God-given duty to step up and protect Eve. He was failing to be the head of the home and lead. He just passively watched everything unfold even though it was Adam that God had directly told not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He was told that “in the day you eat of it you shall surely die” (Gen. 2:17). Look, I’m not excusing Eve, because she knew what God said, too. But how tragic that Adam failed to be the man God designed him to be in that moment.

What are some other ways we “keep” or “protect”? We aren’t to let weeds grow in the gardens of our lives. We are to pull out the weeds of sin, lust, and anger. If you don’t actively work to protect your garden, weeds of all kinds will spring up.

So, to summarize: A man’s purpose is to live in relationship with God, to rule over creation under the rule of God, and that ruling involves working and keeping every area and relationship that God assigns us.

But here’s where we need to see something. Because we all know, none of us has been perfect in the areas of work, relationships, marriage, and parenting.

Restored Manliness

Before concluding, we need to consider Jesus Christ, because He is the Ultimate Man. Maybe you’ve never thought of Jesus as manly. You might have seen one of those old paintings where Jesus has a soft glow around his head, His eyes are sort of glazed over, and He almost looks like a little kid with a beard. But that’s not the Jesus of history. That’s not the real Jesus who is alive today. Jesus was and is the manliest Man you’ll ever meet. So because of that, we need to look to Jesus for our definition of manhood.

Jesus didn’t fail in the work God assigned Him. Not only did He show love to others and care for the sick and the needy, He did the ultimate work of going to the cross for us. Jesus loved us so much, He went through with the ultimate sacrifice of dying so that you could be forgiven. When you consider all the ways you’ve failed to live as the man God created you to be, you need to see that God never gave up on you.

As He hung on the cross, Christ willingly took all our failures and sins on Himself. He died to pay the debt we owed to God. And you know what Christ said in His final breath from the cross? “It is finished” (John 19:30). In other words, the work of salvation was finished. And because Jesus completed that work, we can be forgiven of our failures and made new creations in God’s sight. This is why it all begins with surrendering your life to Jesus.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

When men don’t get their identity from God, they will look in all the wrong places. They will find their identity in sports, career, or sexual encounters. But when we get our identity from Christ, we let Him define true manliness for us.

The world might say that manliness is about how many fights you’ve won, how reckless you are, and how much you can drink. That’s what Brian Deegan once thought. But now he understands that true manliness is about living a life yielded to Christ, taking your identity from Him.

True manliness isn’t about never apologizing to anyone. It’s about loving others, taking an interest in others, and making sacrifices for others. When we do that, we are pointing others to Jesus Christ. This is God’s calling for men.

Have thoughts on this post? Feel free to comment below!

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[1] This story is given in Richard Phillips, The Masculine Mandate.